The 41% - By the Seashore

In 2010, the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force published the results of a comprehensive poll of transgender people. The report was entitled, 'National Transgender Discrimination Survey Report on Health and Health Care', and can be found here. One of the sad statistics that came out of this poll is the fact that 41% of all respondents reported that they had attempted suicide. What makes this statistic even more sad is the thought that this poll could only be responded to by people who were alive. How many more have there been who accomplished their sad plans?
There are many reasons that suicide is so prevalent among trans-people. Family rejection, being shunned by the churches they have devoted their lives to, friends turning their backs on them, losing jobs and careers, lack of medical treatment, physical and sexual attack, ... I could go on. However, there is another factor that is often overlooked. A factor that comes from the very people who should know better. And it's the factor that drove me to the very edge of the 59%. That factor is thoughtless words from another trans-person.

In my case, these words came from a very close transsexual friend. A friend who I still pray for nearly every day. A friend I care for like a sister. What were these words? They were, "You sound just like a man."

Innocent words, and perhaps true words, spoken as a response to a post containing a bit too much advice, when silent support may have been more appropriate.

But innocent or not, true or not, these words ripped through my heart and tore into my soul like a hot dagger. First came the tears, many tears. Then, with the fresh open wounds still there, as I was driving, the thought, the little big thought, came ... "I wonder if I should just run off the road and see what that bridge abutment can do?"

My toes were being tickled by the foamy waters at the edge of the Sea of the Forty One Percent. I am fortunate. By the grace of God, I remembered who I am, and a new resolve was kindled in me.

Words do hurt! And stories like this sometimes end much more tragically. I have resolved to always strive to be gracious in word and in deed. We must always speak graciously - especially to each other. It may mean the difference between life or death.